The best jokes from Conan O’Brien’s monologue

entertainment

Conan O’Brien returned to host the Oscars for the second year in a row, making fun of Netflix, Timothée Chalamet, and, most of all, himself.

Hosting the Academy Awards for the second year in a row, Conan O’Brien He was his signature persona at the 2026 Oscars: awkward, high-energy, humble, and cheerful.

The Brooklyn native made his mark on the ceremony by committing to high-concept theatrical banter and several pre-recorded sketches, including a humorous show opener in which O’Brien dressed as another pale red: Aunt Gladys from “Weapons.”

In his opening monologue, O’Brien’s jokes ranged from topical to outlandish. He made a joke In Timothée Chalamet He was ripped from the headlines, then made a joke about a sequel to ‘F1’ called ‘CAPS LOCK’.

“I do some of this stuff myself,” O’Brien admitted.

Some of O’Brien’s best jokes were video clips. In one, he imagines what the Oscars will be like when it starts airing Exclusively on YouTube in 2029only to be interrupted by invasive ads starring Jane Lynch.

In another article, O’Brien presented a fake company, called Ventura Crossroads, that helps Generation Z and Generation Alpha watch movies on their phones.

O’Brien sometimes relied on helpful guests as well, including longtime Oscars host and fellow late-night veteran Jimmy Kimmel.

While presenting the Best Documentary Feature and Short Form categories, Kimmel made some politically charged jokes while O’Brien was offstage.

after Sniping in Melania Trump’s documentary For not being nominated, Kimmel took aim at CBS.

“We hear a lot about courage on shows like this, but telling a story that could kill for telling it is real courage,” Kimmel said, referring to the nominated documents. “You know, there are some countries whose leaders do not support freedom of expression. I’m not at liberty to say which ones. Let’s leave that to North Korea and CBS.”

Jimmy Kimmel digs in on CBSV #Oscars parties: “You know, there are some countries whose leaders don’t support freedom of expression. Let’s leave it to North Korea and CBS.”

(via ABC/AMPAS) pic.twitter.com/uagEF93Swn

– Variety (@Variety) March 16, 2026

Here are the best jokes and diatribes from Conan O’Brien’s 2026 Oscars monologue.

– “I’m Conan O’Brien and I’m honored to be the last human host of the Academy Awards. Next year Waymo will be wearing a tuxedo.”

“Tonight could get political. And if that makes you uncomfortable, there’s an alternative Oscars party hosted by Kid Rock. It’s at Dave and Buster’s down the street.”

– “Netflix CEO Ted Sarandos is here. This is exciting: it’s his first time in a theater!”

“Between ‘Hamnet’ and ‘Bugonia,’ it’s been a big year for movies that feel like off-brand lunch meats.”

— “In Hamnet, William Shakespeare’s wife Agnes gives birth by herself in the woods. Or as we call it here in America, affordable health care.”

“Sinners director Ryan Coogler said he refused to become a voting member of the Academy because he doesn’t like judging the work of his fellow artists. But apparently the rest of you idiots do.”

“A lot of memorable scenes from ‘Battle After Battle.’” Of course, Best Supporting Actor nominee Sean Penn got an erection at gunpoint. Then director Paul Thomas Anderson said, “Hey, let’s get laid.” Which In the movie!”

– “Amazon Studios received no nominations this year. Walmart, Alibaba, and Chewie also closed. Why can’t the website where I order toilet paper win more Oscars?”

– “It’s the first time since 2012 that there are no British actors nominated for Best Actor or Best Actress. ‘Yes, well, at least we’re catching our pedophiles,’ said a British spokesperson.

Watch Conan O’Brien’s 2026 Oscars opening monologue: