One defining feature of the second Trump administration is the bewildering juxtaposition between various job titles and the people who actually fill those positions. “FBI Director” evokes a commanding presence: someone tall, obviously cunning, and more than a little bit evil. I don’t think you would visualize a little weirdo who looks like he has only ever entered a room by accident.
Current FBI Director Kash Patel is precisely that kind of little weirdo. He looked just as uncomfortable and out of place as he always does when he showed up in the Team USA locker room Sunday, to holler, drink beers, and enjoy Toby Keith’s music with the players who had just won a gold medal by defeating Canada 2-1 in overtime.
It’s not surprising that Patel managed to weasel his way into the locker room, given how he chooses to define his job. His tenure as FBI director has been strictly defined by how he uses the bureau’s jet to fly around the world and have fun. In October of 2025, for example, Patel took a jet to Pennsylvania to watch his girlfriend Alexis Wilkins perform the national anthem at a wrestling event. Like pretty much everyone else in the Trump administration, Patel is only in this for the access to luxury travel.
Even with all of that context, Patel’s trip to Italy for the Winter Olympics was particularly oafish. On Feb. 19, MS NOW reported that Patel would be taking an FBI jet to Milan in order to watch the men’s gold medal hockey game. FBI spokesman Ben Williamson threw a fit about this, and spent the next few days pointing out all of the obviously contrived photo ops Patel was attending in an effort to justify his presence at the Olympics. By Saturday, Williamson was so fed up with the media reporting on the obvious reason for Patel’s trip that he offered this rebuttal to one of the reporters on the MS NOW story:
Meanwhile, Patel didn’t seem all that concerned with maintaining the fiction that he was in Milan on official business. After videos of him in the locker room went public, he released a beer-scented statement on Twitter:
For the very concerned media – yes, I love America and was extremely humbled when my friends, the newly minted Gold Medal winners on Team USA, invited me into the locker room to celebrate this historic moment with the boys- Greatest country on earth and greatest sport on earth. 👊🏼🏒🇺🇸
As if Patel’s presence in the locker room wasn’t degrading enough, he also managed to get Donald Trump on speakerphone. You can really hear Trump perk up knowing that he’s been given access to a sympathetic audience that will definitely laugh at his jokes. Watching these dorks beam at Trump’s voice, and laugh along to his crack about needing to invite the women’s team to the White House, will quickly drain any warm feelings you might have had for them following their victory.
This is what sports are all about: creating a moment in which the FBI director can finally feel like the most special boy in the world.