Defector is ashamed to introduce a new feature we’re calling Sports Yorkie Showdown. In the first and realistically last installment of this series, we’re going to take two sports-affiliated Yorkies we saw this week on Instagram and pit them against each other, metaphorically. Which athletically associated animal will come out on top? Let’s meet today’s contenders:
In the red corner, we have Prince, who belongs to Isabelle Harrison of the New York Liberty. Recently photographed by Harrison’s girlfriend and teammate, Natasha Cloud, on a Central Park outing after the Liberty’s season came to an end, this minuscule menace seems to love attention and hate baths.
Height: Tiny
Weight: Perhaps a little more than a feather
Smallest organism that could defeat this dog in combat: Succulent plant
This adorable rascal would probably get blown away by a moderate gust of wind. A single cube of that cheese would give him diarrhea for three months.
In the blue corner, we have Thelma, whose owners are Detroit Lions head coach Dan Campbell and his wife Holly. Thelma is one of two Yorkies originally owned by the Campbells, the other being Louise. (In the interest of maintaining this post’s already fragile whimsy, we’re going to focus on the Yorkie that’s alive.) This diminutive demon is best known for showing up on Dan’s lap as he does his morning coffee runs with Holly.
Height: So small
Weight: Surely not more than one frozen pea
Smallest organism that could defeat this dog in combat: Five tardigrades
I assume Dan takes great care at home to not accidentally sit on this creature. Thelma could also very easily fall into his dip cup.
So, which pup is punier: Prince or Thelma? Hell, I can’t choose. They’d both make insufficient paperweights. Neither one is large enough to register as prey to a hawk. They’re both shivering little goblins that could easily be lost the same way you would a set of keys. Let’s call it a tie. We owe wolves an apology.